Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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