how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
