She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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