Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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