Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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