Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
