I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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