New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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