After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
