whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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