It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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