take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
