porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize