Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize