My sheets look like a crime scene.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
