david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
