WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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