Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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