My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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