you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
