You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
