I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
