where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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