hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
