I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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