Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
