There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dick very happy bro
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
