everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
