I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
