Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
