i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize