someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Farmville is her only friend.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
birth control should be required to get into college
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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