why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he puts the penis in happiness.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
