I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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