I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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