as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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