My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize