I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
