I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize