Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
