I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My ass is underappreciated
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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