you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im holly from the hills drunk
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
