just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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