It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
