I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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