I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
