I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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