If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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