oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize