i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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