But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
