He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
