Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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