They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
