I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
