Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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