If i come over, it means nothing
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
