Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
one two three fourrrrnication!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize