Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
