I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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