C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
