so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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