Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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