On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
