I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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