Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
