i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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