That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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