I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm at about main and main street
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
