Plan B is the new Plan A
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize